Mum of a gay son now medicalising. I don’t affirm him taking this course of action. He is gay and a baker not a fighter. Society struggles with males who don’t conform to sexist expectations. At the same time he can’t bring himself to identify with the sex that bullied him. He also can’t identify with the sex that harms women. In that sense his “identity” comes from a good space but he also won’t acknowledge the harm males are doing by identifying into our sex class, taking female only roles, entering our single sex spaces. (He does not do any of these things by they way). I am sure I have made many mistakes as I try to reconcile him to his sex and sexuality. We both try to navigate this terrain with love. I hope you find peace. ❤️
It sounds like he and I have experienced a similar kind of bind when it comes to (things associated with) masculinity and femininity as a male. Your feminine side draws ridicule from more masculine boys/men, but that does more to make you hate your masculinity than your femininity. So the struggle to own your femininity, real as that is, becomes a rejection of your own masculinity. Because being male itself becomes strongly associated with oppression and harming women (the last thing I'm sure your son is or wants to be associated with).
So I can see how raising that topic would be another bind, if being in female-only spaces would seem to distance himself from those associations, yet would actually make him part of the problem of breaking down female-only spaces.
That's at least how it seems to me, but these are things I'll be trying to articulate in articles to come. Thanks for reading : )
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your baring your beautiful soul. It is helpful for those who have never experienced these feelings, to hear your inner dialogue and conflict. I am the mother of a 20 year old child that was born a female, presented with ROGD during COVID, and has been injecting T for almost 2 years. I'm desperately trying to help my child find relief from pain and suffering, and get help with underlying mental health issues before any medicalization. At this age, I have no say, sitting back and watching this unfold in front of me. I'm devastated. My inner momma-bear is screaming and I feel like no can hear me. Just wanting relief for my child from pain and anxiety in life that won't/can't be found through life-long pharmaceutical use and surgery. That pain and suffering will still be there, waiting...Need to find the source of that pain and suffering first, which will take years: growth, maturity, life experience, time...maybe after the exploration of the body/gender dysmorphia, then possibly move forward? I don't know. Trying desperately to understand and help without hurting and making things worse. Just want to show love through all of this. Not sure that I am, but desperately trying... All people need to find what is right for them-no one else can tell you what that is. You must find it for yourself. Not all will agree and be supportive either way, must learn to live and be ok with that, somehow. Only you can find your own inner peace. Good luck and God bless. Stay strong! Our God is big and strong enough to handle our doubts, and still love us-the imperfect humans that we are.
Glad if something here was helpful. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this; you must worry so much how things will turn out with her. Believing you're trans is a painful place to be, but I wish a person could at least just go through that trial without risking ending up with such serious permanent effects. I wish I had clear answers to what will snap someone out of it. I know a lot of parents feel powerless. All you can do is your best. Hopefully you're finding support out there with other parents and that someone has the advice you need to support your daughter in the way she needs. God bless.
Thank you for sharing your story and insights. I am the mother of an adult son, who has socially transitioned and suffers from GD. Keep on sharing. You will definitely help others to understand.
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, Njada. It would be so much easier to hide behind an identity group orthodoxy. Please check out my writing and share with friends and followers if it’s of any value. My writing helps me think too.
Mum of a gay son now medicalising. I don’t affirm him taking this course of action. He is gay and a baker not a fighter. Society struggles with males who don’t conform to sexist expectations. At the same time he can’t bring himself to identify with the sex that bullied him. He also can’t identify with the sex that harms women. In that sense his “identity” comes from a good space but he also won’t acknowledge the harm males are doing by identifying into our sex class, taking female only roles, entering our single sex spaces. (He does not do any of these things by they way). I am sure I have made many mistakes as I try to reconcile him to his sex and sexuality. We both try to navigate this terrain with love. I hope you find peace. ❤️
It sounds like he and I have experienced a similar kind of bind when it comes to (things associated with) masculinity and femininity as a male. Your feminine side draws ridicule from more masculine boys/men, but that does more to make you hate your masculinity than your femininity. So the struggle to own your femininity, real as that is, becomes a rejection of your own masculinity. Because being male itself becomes strongly associated with oppression and harming women (the last thing I'm sure your son is or wants to be associated with).
So I can see how raising that topic would be another bind, if being in female-only spaces would seem to distance himself from those associations, yet would actually make him part of the problem of breaking down female-only spaces.
That's at least how it seems to me, but these are things I'll be trying to articulate in articles to come. Thanks for reading : )
Thank you so much for sharing your story and your baring your beautiful soul. It is helpful for those who have never experienced these feelings, to hear your inner dialogue and conflict. I am the mother of a 20 year old child that was born a female, presented with ROGD during COVID, and has been injecting T for almost 2 years. I'm desperately trying to help my child find relief from pain and suffering, and get help with underlying mental health issues before any medicalization. At this age, I have no say, sitting back and watching this unfold in front of me. I'm devastated. My inner momma-bear is screaming and I feel like no can hear me. Just wanting relief for my child from pain and anxiety in life that won't/can't be found through life-long pharmaceutical use and surgery. That pain and suffering will still be there, waiting...Need to find the source of that pain and suffering first, which will take years: growth, maturity, life experience, time...maybe after the exploration of the body/gender dysmorphia, then possibly move forward? I don't know. Trying desperately to understand and help without hurting and making things worse. Just want to show love through all of this. Not sure that I am, but desperately trying... All people need to find what is right for them-no one else can tell you what that is. You must find it for yourself. Not all will agree and be supportive either way, must learn to live and be ok with that, somehow. Only you can find your own inner peace. Good luck and God bless. Stay strong! Our God is big and strong enough to handle our doubts, and still love us-the imperfect humans that we are.
Glad if something here was helpful. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this; you must worry so much how things will turn out with her. Believing you're trans is a painful place to be, but I wish a person could at least just go through that trial without risking ending up with such serious permanent effects. I wish I had clear answers to what will snap someone out of it. I know a lot of parents feel powerless. All you can do is your best. Hopefully you're finding support out there with other parents and that someone has the advice you need to support your daughter in the way she needs. God bless.
Thank you for sharing your story and insights. I am the mother of an adult son, who has socially transitioned and suffers from GD. Keep on sharing. You will definitely help others to understand.
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, Njada. It would be so much easier to hide behind an identity group orthodoxy. Please check out my writing and share with friends and followers if it’s of any value. My writing helps me think too.