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Jolene's avatar

Wow! There is so much to unpack. So my initial take away is that you grew to believe being male was truly the worst thing one could be? I've been saying for years now that it is so hard to find positive messages about men these days. I have loved men - my uncle, my dad, my brother and my husband with my whole heart my whole life and find nothing more amazing than a compassionate and honest and deep man -with all the masculine edges too! How do I help my son to find peace as a male? Are you and the other detrans males thinking of creating content to help young boys before they damage themselves? Those of us parents sure would like some help out here!

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maryh10000's avatar

The description of fractional vs integral complementarity in the Hildegard of Bingen link really spoke to me. And considering I have studied John Paul II's theology of the body, it's helpful to have it bring home to me, again, that I am not a "masculine" woman. "Masculine" should only refer to the embodied experience of being a male. "Feminine" should only refer to the embodied experience of being a female. It would be good to be able to get rid of the other usages altogether, but what can you do? You have to used words people can understand, even while continually defining your terms.

I'm not trans -- I'm much too old for that to have affected me at a point in my life where it might have been attractive. But as a woman who is often seen as "masculine", it is important, I think, to point out that when "masculinity" as a whole is seen as inherently toxic to women, it also makes it hard for a woman to embrace her own "masculine" traits.

But "fractional complementarity is definitely NOT the healthiest way to acknowledge real differences.

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